I'm Off My Break

Yes, the time has come for me to try and come back. So I am off my break sorta. I will probably just do a post here and there.

As to how I am feeling during my recovery. Well....I still feel like crap most of the time. The good news is that when I saw my Ortho Doc last week he said that I could stop my Physical Therapy. Yippee, yahoo, no more physical therapy. No more torture to my shoulder. But at the same time I would like to thank my PT guy. He and his helpers were so nice and considerate every time I went. Due to their efforts and their forcing me to move my arm, I now have about 75% of my movement ability in my shoulder restored.

The pain level that I have been feeling since the surgery, on a scale from 1 to 10, is about a 50. I never knew that I could suffer so much pain. Even now the pain is about 20. And this is the improvement from last week. When I saw Doc last week he also said that my shoulder was inflamed. So he put me on a very strong NSAID or anti-inflammatory. At a very high dosage. And so this is why my pain level has dropped so much in just one week. The sad thing is that he wrote a prescription for a years worth of the NSAID.

My thoughts are; "Does this mean I am going to be in this much pain for another year, or did he just check the wrong box?" I want to crawl into a deep hole and not come out until this pain is gone. When people told me that this was the hardest surgery to recover from and that it takes a long time to finish healing, at first I thought, "Oh I will be the person who is different". I was so wrong.

When leaving the hosptial, the nurse told me that it will take me at least 6 to 8 months to heal because of the type of surgery I just went through. She said in her 30 years as a surgical nurse, that I had just went through the worst surgery there is. I still did not believe this. My PT guy said the same thing. My oldest daughter called me up one day after the surgery, and she said that someone had told her that I had just been through the worst surgery there is. She was a little upset. By now I knew. I have gone through one of the worst surgeries there is to recover from.

It has been 3 months and I have hardly been able to sleep. I cannot find a way to be comfortable and not have the throbbing pain keep me awake. A little over a week ago my regular Doc gave me a scrip for Amb*en CR. I am in love with a pill. This last week is the first time I have been able to stay asleep for 3 or 4 hours straight without waking up every hour. Also I am sure the NSAID has helped.

Those of you who fall asleep easily and stay asleep, you are so making me sick right now. I cannot stand to hear about how easily you fall asleep. Especially since I also suffer from insomnia on top of all this pain. You truly are lucky to have this sleeping ability. But you still make me sick. Oh how I wish I knew the secret. So which are you? No don't tell me unless you really do have a secret way to fall asleep.

Anyway, while I have not been able to do much typing due to the pain, I have been lurking at your sights. Sometimes I do write comments and as some of you might have noticed that there has been an increase this past week. Although I have stayed sucked into keeping my standing over at VE's site, I have just lurked at most of your sites. Plus most of my comments there made no sense most of the time anyway, due to the pa*n p*lls and taking regular Amb*en. But it is expected to not make any sense, so I was not mortified with any comments I left. Well maybe a few, but for the most part I was okay. That is why I stopped leaving comments and just started lurking. By the time I got the pain level lowered enough to type, my comments were so embarassing to me. None of them made any sense. I knew it was time to stop writing them.

I have written a few where I was still sane enough to make sense, but I could only do one or two a day. On a good day 3 or 4. I am thankful the NSAID's do not mess with my thinking abilities and am down to only one or two of those mind messing pa*n p*lls. So because of this you will now all probably have to suffer through my outlandishly long comments that you have been missing so much. It will take me a few more months to get even close to my previous level, but at least I now see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It has only taken me about 3 hours to type this post. Yup, I see the light.

So get prepared, Mrsupole is back in bloggytown.

I have posted these two pictures of me from when I was 17, and yes I know most of you were either little babies or not even born yet. But Reya at The Gold Puppy asked us to please post some pictures from our past. Since I did not feel capable of searching through my suitcase full of old pictures, I just snapped these two pictures from my senior yearbook.

The first one is my senior picture and since that is how I still look to this day, yeah right, I thought it was a good one to post. The second one is me doing the "Peace, baby peace thing", which at that time was our way to greet each other. I guess for you young ones here, you can read about this time in your history books. It was a great time, yes, burn the bra was the way to go. But then again, I should have kept it on, you know to slow the gravity thing that would later happen.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the pictures, it is also with my hair fairly straight. Back in those days we used the orange juice cans to try to straighten our hair. Hair dryers were not yet invented, let alone straighteners or flat irons. My dad had forbidden us to iron our hair with the clothes iron. So orange juice cans it was. My hair curls up into kinky Shirley Temple ringlets if left alone. So these were good hair days, plus hair conditioner also did not exist. I love all the hair straighter inventions made today. I own about 10 of them. Yes, I am obssessed with being able to straighten my hair and then too lazy now to do it. Oh who gives a crap anyway. I am learning to love curls.

Maybe someday I will post a current picture, but don't hold your breath.



Peace, Baby Peace!!!!!!!!