Burn The Bra!!

The Attack of the Killer Bra!!!!!!

Use your imagination, the bonfires are lit all around the country, possibly the world, millions of women are dancing around the bonfires, chanting; Burn the bra, burn the bra, burn the bra. Then one by one they take off their bras, and throw it into the bonfire to burn for all of eternity. The flames are shooting up into the sky for many feet due to the intensity of the bras burning, then the women start to pass out. Quickly they go down, the flames are emiting a gas due to all the chemicals contained within the bras. Ambulances are called and the hosptials are loaded up with braless women for miles around. Luckily all the women survive.

The next day all the newspapers headlines say such things as: Killer Bras on the Rampage; Bras Wanted Dead or Alive; Women Sucumb to Bra Odor; Attack of the Killer Bras; Bonfire of the Braities; Bralessness Leads to Chaos. Well I think you get the picture.

Back in the 1960's, we had a period where it was popular to say that you were going to burn your bra, and stop wearing them. Many women of America got rid of their bras and stopped wearing them. There are claims that there never were any bra burning parties, but there might have been a few secret ceremonies. I know I joined in and stopped wearing my bra for a very short period. It was a freeing experience, but it was also a very bouncey experience. And running track was not any fun, so it was also an extremely short experience.

What you ask does this have to do with today? The bra industry is a big business, and rarely do you see a woman without a bra. I thought I would tell you about my recent experience without a bra.

When I had my shoulder surgery, I left the hospital braless. Then 4 days later with no bra, I go to my first doctors appointment. They rip my bandages, along with my skin, off my shoulder and my arm, that had pretty much been taped to my body. Ouch, that hurt like hell. They pull out the shunt, shit, that hurt. They send me home. Still cannot wear a bra. Finally I find my strapless bra, I can wear that, but it is very tight. I toss it. Then granddaughter finds a front clasp bra with a criss-cross in the back. I just cannot figure out how to put it on. So still braless. I have a doctors appointment, she helps me put it on. Finally a bra, success. Then more braless days.

Now I know you are thinking what does this have to do with anything? Well, it has to do with freaking pain, that's what. I decide after about 3 weeks that I am going to wear a bra come hell or high water. So I take a shower and then I try to put on one of my regular bras. Okay, I get it clasped and turn the bra until the clasp is in the back where it should be. Then I put my good arm through and pull the strap up to the good shoulder. Success, wow I can do this. This will be a piece of cake. I put my bad arm through the other strap and I start to pull it up to my shoulder. Somehow the strap was too tight, I could not pull it up any higher, it is above my elbow and squeezing my arm. The pain is starting to build up, intense excruciating pain, I start to scream and cry all at once because the pain is so bad. I cannot pull the strap down or up, I can only scream. Tears are rolling down my cheeks.

I am stuck!!!! What will happen? I thought I was going to die.

Then granddaughter comes to the rescue, she looks at me and starts laughing, I ask her to please help me get this damn bra off. She tries to pull the strap down with no more success than I had. Then she finally undoes the clasp and it releases the pressure of the strap on my arm. I finally stop screaming, but I am still crying. I go lay on the bed, cradling my arm and shoulder. After a while the pain subsides to the normal intolerable pain. It was another week before I could get a bra on to where I could handle the level of pain.

The moral of this story is; that if a bra wants to attack you, the bra will win. Never mess with a bra after shoulder surgery. Bras are vicious.

And for all you men who might be thinking of buying one of the new "Man-bras", I wish you luck, lots and lots of luck.

What do you think, should we burn the bras again?